this and that

This is probably going to be an incredibly random post.

-The first week of school is officially over. Honestly, this Summer has flown by. I guess it's partly because I only see my hubs half of the time (with his schedule) and because Beckham is growing like a weed. I can seriously remember when he was so tiny that his bed swallowed him and so fragile I cringed at the thought of him bumping into anything. Now, he fits so comfortably in his bed, he bumps into things, falls off of things, and almost kills himself daily. His newest fascination is jumping off of our coffee table, yes into my arms, but still..... the kid is not afraid of anything.


-On the topic of Beckham, he is officially 13 months old today. I am completely blown away by how much I love that little boy. He does some of the funniest things, and makes the cutest faces I think ever existed. What I would give to know what's going on in his little head. Right now we are fighting the allergy cough from hell. He's seriously had a hacking cough for over three weeks now. We've been to the doctor twice, and I've called the nurses three times. We tried a prescription cough medicine for almost a week and a half, with no results. So, the nurse said it's probably allergies and not a Summer cold. We are now alternating a couple different OTC meds in hopes that it will break whatever is in his chest up and help relieve his cough. Here's to hoping. It kills me to hear him cough like he does. Since switching to OTC med it has improved but I (and I'm sure he is too) am ready for it to go away. Anyways- 13 month update: As I said, he's not afraid of anything. He loves to climb on top of anything and everything; all types of furniture, etc. He's eating almost entirely 'people' food, with the exception of the squeeze pouches of organic baby food; and he only has those when he won't eat from a spoon because he wants to do everything for himself. Which means he doesn't want me to feed him, so to say he has a whole lot of finger foods (crackers, cookies, etc) would be an understatement. He also goes through days where he doesn't want to hardly eat at all like he's too busy to sit still long enough to get a meal in....when will that phase end? Another phase (I'm praying) he's going through is the whole, screaming at the top of his lungs thing. Okay, what's up with that? It's not a 'throwing a tantrum' scream, it's just talking realllllllly loud. ugh. I'm also ready for that to be over, as well. Beckham is walking running, climbing, walking backwards, feeding himself, completely done with bottles and pacis. Although, he never really cared about a pacifier to begin with so it wasn't a struggle at all. He is drinking organic whole milk with juice and water throughout the day, and is obviously gaining weight because we are finally in size four diapers- I thought we'd be in threes forever! Bath time is still his favorite although I think riding the four-wheeler might be slowly creeping up to being his all time fav. The whole 'washing his hair' thing is most definitely not his favorite. I hate that I am back at work and don't get to play with him all day, but we have great sitters (family) and I really love my job.

-My friend's grandmother passed away this week. I knew her years ago, but since, she had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and wasn't doing well. She was such a sweet lady with the kindest soul. I went to the visitation to comfort my friend but the whole situation was harder for me than I had expected. It reminded me so much of when I lost my grandmother. Through similar circumstances my Mamaw died when I was 15. I spoke at her funeral and although that was eight years ago, I can still remember the letter I read almost entirely. I couldn't compose myself enough to simply talk to everyone that day, so I wrote my family and friends a letter. I would give anything to have my Mamaw back in my life. She was such an amazing, inspirational, Godly woman, and as I write this tears well up in my eyes. I truly think of her everyday and pray I can pass her words of wisdom onto my child(ren). At the visitation, I spoke with my friend's Mom; she thanked me for coming and said, "Mom and Abby had such a special bond, similar to you and your grandmother, I know you understand what she's going through". I broke down. I immediately started crying- whether it was because she simply mention my Mamaw, or because I really did understand what Abby was going through, I don't know. Either way it really hit me hard. I did not have enough time with my Mamaw. She missed (both past and future) so many important parts of my life. And I know she has been here the whole time, but not being able to see her or touch her has been hard. Some people hope to leave a legacy or some type of contribution to this world when they're gone. I am not sure if my Mamaw ever thought of life like that. Unfortunately, I never really had that conversation with her. However, whether she set out to leave the kind of mark that she did on my life, or not, her impact has been huge. I am hopeful and excited that one day I will be able to tell her all of the things I wish I could say to her now.

-Last random thought: Why do the words "four bedrooms" make me go insane? I talking about when looking to buy a house. Why do I have this dream vision in my head of a four bedroom house? Is it because I also have a dream vision of having three kids, and I want them to all have their own rooms? I'm speaking of two imaginary kids....... yeah. I am not sure why, but when I hear that a house is for sale, and has four bedrooms my heart instantly stops. This week I went and looked at a house not far from our current house- it's four bedrooms, two bath, has an awesome 'man cave' for Butch, a fabulous yard and pool, but other than that the house needs some work. The rooms are horribly decorated, like the colors make no sense at all. It's like they removed different parts of the house at different times and went with whatever was popular at the time. So, nothing matches. Some things are rustic, some are more modern, some are extremely traditional, some are more contemporary, and others are just odd. The house itself has great bones, and with a little T.L.C. and M.O.N.E.Y. it could be our forever house. A lot of the 'big' stuff, in my eyes, has already been done. A lot of the expensive stuff, has been done. But, there's still a lot that needs to be done. So, that brings me to my last question... Why do I have this thought in my head that we are going to find our "forever house"? I say those words together all the time when I'm talking about house hunting. I'll say, "I want to find our forever house." or "This could be our forever house.", but what in the world is a "forever house"? What am I expecting to find within our budget? What do I see in my head as our forever house, and is it realistic? I don't know. I said I was asking one last question and that turned into about five, but whatever. My point is that the more I look, and the more I think about our forever house, the more I am coming to realize that a forever house is what you make it. You never know what life might throw at you and turn the plans you have in your head upside down. I have this grand plan to have three kids, but who knows if that will ever happen? I have this crazy idea that our forever house currently exists, but who knows if it does? The house I looked at this week has some real potential and I guess since I am kind of looking at things through a different point of view I am realizing that ANY home we purchase may eventually turn into our forever house. I can't create these unrealistic expectations in my head and keep letting myself down. I have to keep an open mind. And that's what I'm trying to do.

-Whew! This could possibly be the longest post I've ever written. I gave forewarning that it was going to be random. Sorry.